What Mike Pence Won't Do in Savannah

Three Things Mike Pence Should Do in Savannah (And Two He Definitely Won’t)

Generally, the buzz surrounding Savannah’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade is more of the three-beer variety. This year, however, there’s an entirely different kind of buzz with the recent announcement that the Vice President of the United States of America Mike Pence is coming to the Hostess City to participate in the parade.

So how did the notoriously hedonistic bacchanalia that is our city’s St. Paddy’s parade attract the famously conservative Mike Pence? How does his famed policy to not attend events where alcohol is served jive with an event where the green beer flows like water?

Who’s to say? But the fact is, our fair city is about to host the number two guy in the country and we should be proud. Before Mr. Pence (and Mrs. Pence, presumably) arrives in Savannah, we thought we’d give him a few ideas for things he should check out around town, and a few he should probably skip.


Mike Pence Should Check out the Budweiser Clydesdales

Mike Pence loves America. Budweiser loves America. So much so they actually changed their name to America briefly.

It’s a match made in heaven, so while he’s here the Veep should definitely swing by Historic Grayson Stadium to check out the Clydesdales when they’re here March 15-16. Mr. Pence is a big fan of American tradition, so he’ll be just as enraptured with the ballpark’s rich history as the rest of us.

And he should definitely come back for a Bananas game once the season starts, if only because we’re certain the team would come up with just the craziest promotion to put him in.


Mike Pence Should Probably Skip a Downtown Delilahs Show

Look, when we say that he should skip it, we certainly don’t mean you should. The scintillating eroticism of a Delilahs show, set amid the speakeasy splendor of Mata Hari, is one of the finest nights out you can experience in Savannah.

But if you’re a guy like Mike Pence, who reportedly won’t be in the same room as a woman without his wife present, it’s maybe not the venue for you.

Which is fine – that’s two more seats for the rest of us.


Mike Pence Should Tour our Churches

Pence is famed for his religious devotion, so he’s in the right place. Savannah is renowned for our beautiful historic churches, making for an engaging tour for our evangelical VP.

Although he’s a protestant, we’d imagine he’d still find something inspiring in the Victorican Gothic beauty of Saint John the Baptist, the oldest Roman Catholic Church in Georgia. Or in First Bryan Baptist Church, the oldest continuous African-American Baptist Church in the United States. Or the soaring Corinthian columns of the famed Historic Independent Presbyterian Church.

Grab a pew, Mister Vice President. That other city may take the claim of the holy city, but there’s still plenty of the good Lord to go around in Savannah.


Mike Pence Should Skip Club One

Let’s just say his views on LGBT rights would not make him very popular at Savannah’s most famed gay bar, Club One.  His loss, really. If he’d open his mind a little he might get a kick out of the uproarious drag shows. The world famous Lady Chablis was actually Club One's very first entertainer, facilitating the club's grand opening in 1988. 

If you want to check out Club One, visit them at 1 Jefferson St.


Mike Pence Should Visit 17 South Rod & Gun Club

During his time as governor of Indiana, Pence signed a slew of bills into law that expanded the freedom to carry firearms, often finding opposition from Indiana’s school organizations, National Guard and mayors. And he recognizes the value of quality gun training, bringing in NRA members to train Indiana’s national guard on concealed carry.

So we’d imagine the Vice President likes to blow off a little steam now and again by sending some rounds down range. Head to Fleming, Georgia, Mr. Pence, to 17 South Rod and Gun Club, and breathe deep the country air while you ping some targets.  17 South Rod & Gun Club is located at 5899 North Coastal Highway, Fleming, Georgia 31309.