Abandoned ballroom of the Melrose Resort on Daufuskie Island. Photo by D. Paul Graham

“Monday 5 Things”™ ….. Ironic Don’t You Think? …..

With a nod to a fellow Canuck, here’s to a black fly in your Chardonnay, winning the lottery then dying the next day, a free ride when you’ve already been paid, traffic jams when you’re already late, ten thousand spoons when you all you need is a knife, and good advice that you just didn’t take. This morning’s M5T reveals some irony in our lives that I thought about this past week.

1. FIT AND PEACEFUL. You head to the gym to work out, but once you get there, you drive around the parking lot looking for a closer spot to the door. Taking a yoga class to find your inner peace, only to have that peace shattered as you stress over getting the pose just right, and fearing that you will fall over, or even worse, pass gas.

2. MINIMIZING. Wanting to and thinking you lead a minimalist life, yet you hoard all sorts of things in boxes, perhaps even renting a storage unit, “just in case you need it later”. For two months, your trunk is full of clothing and items that you keep intending to drop off at Goodwill, but somehow you can’t bring yourself to handing those things over.

3. DINNER TIME. All week you look forward to dinner with your better-half or friends, yet when the food gets to your table, the photoshoot begins as everyone pulls their phones out to “gram” their meal, which ends up cold and you’ve barely said a word to each other. That, “I just have to quickly answer this text”, turns into 20 minutes of head bent forward with fingers flying over the keyboard. You fail to enjoy the time with your family and friends as you agonize over emails you think you are missing.

4. PER GALLON. You use a quarter tank of gas driving across town to save $0.01 cent per gallon, and then grumble at the cost of a gallon of gas as you fill up the belly of your beast. That moment of hydrated revelation when you realize that the $3 bottle of “smart” water is more expensive per gallon than that petrol you just bought. Then you sit in your car, idling in the long Starbucks drive thru, and you happily pay $5 for a venti specialty order of a hit of jolt juice.

5. BINGEING. You get home after a long day, perhaps pouring a glass of wine, bourbon, or your spirit of choice, and plunk down on your comfy couch. You spend 5 minutes finding the remote deeply buried under a cushion of said comfy couch. Thirty minutes later, and now into your second glass of your libation of choice, you are on Season 5 of “What the Heck Should We Watch?” Finally, starting your streaming-choice, you fall asleep barely seeing the opening credits.

To quote Alanis again, “Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. And life has a funny way of helping you out.” Here’s to a week of keeping a sense of humor at the irony of this journey we call life.

For over 12 years, D. Paul Graham has published “Monday 5 Things” ™, also known to readers as M5T™.  He continues to enjoy the ironies of life.

© 2024 D. Paul Graham.

You can reach Paul by email at dpg@imagegraham.com

“Monday 5 Things” ™ and M5T™ are trademarks of D. Paul Graham