Photo: D. Paul Graham “Two that have my heart”, JAX Zoo 2023

“Monday 5 Things”™ ….. Two …..

The moment was intense. Two drivers facing each other down. I was stuck behind them with no way to get around or away. A baseball bat taken from a back seat. Both men out of their cars now. Should I video this? The bat held high in the air by the first man…. “#*$* you!” The other man stepping back slightly, but yelling defiantly “No, #*$* you!” Clearly neither skilled in communication nor controlled emotions. The severe rage in their body language and vocal language was intense. A chorus of horns from cars blocked around them broke the moment. They retreated. Thankfully. I was reminded of a M5T from three years ago. Two better words. Two words that uplift rather than tear down. Two words that are positive and empower. This morning’s M5T looks again at two words.

1. Thank you

If you are the thanker or the thankee, expressing gratitude by simply saying thank you is likely bigger than you realize. By saying thank you, you recognize someone else, and you will, more often than not, make their day. Saying thank you highlights actions, shows appreciation, and creates an emotionally positive state — feel good hormones if you will — for both sides. Saying thank you makes the thanker more aware of what people are doing around them, and for the thankee will reinforce the importance of what they have done.

2. Love you

If you are going to say this, mean it; don’t let these words become a habit or a simple answer. Genuinely saying I love you is vulnerability, affirmation, and optimism. You likely have said this to someone close to you, but when is the last time that you said this to yourself… and believed it? It takes work to keep the romantic side of these two words and go beyond a Hallmark card. Saying I love you to a friend can help them realize the importance they hold in your life. Support these two simple yet complex words with actions. Saying I love you can fill your soul, lift your spirit, and warm your heart. Those two words can make you want to be a better person, and can make changes not only in your life, but to the person you say them to.

3. Miss you

These two words can often bring about mixed feelings of longing and melancholy. How often have you told a friend or lover not only that that you miss them, but why you miss them? That you miss their smile, their laugh, their touch? That you miss seeing them, sharing meals, or just simply hanging out and being with them? That you miss working with them, being challenged by them, debating life, and sharing dreams with them?

4. Forgive me

It’s never easy to apologize; to say I’m sorry. Of the five things today, these may be the two most potent words. Those two words can be a gateway to grace, giving the hurt person a chance to restore their dignity, to forgive and to heal. They are not words of weakness. Rather, because they can be so hard to say, they are actually words of strength realized from failures, life lessons, and transgressions against others. They can put a stop to negative thoughts and behavior by both people. They show growth and maturity in choosing trying to repair a relationship over one’s ego or pride. They are vulnerable and powerful. They are two words that can open communication and give the other person a chance to extend forgiveness. They can dissolve guilt, allowing you to move on in life. They can diffuse anger and withdrawal and can be an antidote to toxic thinking.

5. Unquestioned confidence

Not so much spoken words to others, but two words that are important to our state of mind, with ourselves and with our relationships. They allow us to love boldly, without fear or constraint. Unquestioned confidence is a cornerstone to our faith, morals, and ethics. These two words define the path we choose for our lives and who we spend our life with. Unquestioned confidence is a mindset of growth that is cultivated by belief in ourselves, and certainty and trust we have in the most important people in our lives. These words, when we believe them, can be the difference between giving up and moving forward with our dreams. These two words foster inner peace, self-assurance, and a healthy dependence in others. Unquestioned confidence nourishes the poise to make difficult decisions and reduces the chatter of negative self-talk and the pessimism of the world around us. My favorite of this morning’s two words.

Here’s to a week of two carefully chosen words and having the wisdom to know when to use them.

© 2023 D. Paul Graham, all rights reserved.

For over 11 years, D. Paul Graham has published “Monday 5 Things” ™, also known to readers as M5T.

You can reach Paul by email at dpg@imagegraham.com