“Happy Birthday Canada” Photo D. Paul Graham

“Monday 5 Things”™ ….. Of Canucks …..

Oh Canada. Canucks are some of the finest people you will meet anywhere in the world. America’s amenable next-door neighbors who are polite, apologetic, maple-syrup fueled, butter-tart, Nanaimo bar, and Timbit loving, hockey obsessive, togue and mukluk wearing, winter resilient, hard-working people who spend their loonies, twonies, and colorful currency on Molson’s, Labatt’s, Alexander Keith’s, Kokanee, or Moosehead beer. Real beer.   This morning’s M5T pays a light-hearted homage to my homeland on its birthday.

1. BATTLE OF THE BAG. I am surprised that there has not been more handwringing and battles from the straw-hating, tree-hugging environmentalists over this one. Found mostly in Ontario and east to the Atlantic provinces, milk can be found in plastic bags. These bags are slipped into special designed pitchers and snipped at the corner for pouring. My mom would buy bags of milk in large quantiles, freezing the bags until needed. The first time I shared this little snippet of Canadiana with friends in Atlanta, the confusion on their faces was as thick as a frothy Tim Hortons (referred to by Canucks as Timmies) double-double.

2. ZED, ZEE, U AND QUES. When it comes to the omega letter of the alphabet, Canadians say “zed,” likely a carryover of the use of the English language from those pesky Brits who at one time tried to control all of North America. South of the 49^th, Americans say “zee,” which sounds more like the noise a cartoon bee might make. Throw in the use of the letter U in words like colour, humour, flavour, labour, behaviour or the using “cheques” to make payments, creates a linguistic tug-of-war, as accents and vowels are deciphered and causing confusion for auto correct in Word.

3. PARDON THE POUTINE. It has been said that poutine is Canadian salad qui peut être mangé au petit déjeuner, au déjeuner, ou au dîner. This delectable concoction of fries, cheese curds, and thick gravy is a Canadian staple, with its roots in French-Canadian cuisine. Americans might think they know fries, sometimes going crazy throwing on some melted cheese, or if they want to get really outlandish, may pile chili onto their fried potatoes. But poutine is an experience unto itself. Trying poutine for the first time is usually an amusing mélange of skepticism and then ultimately savoring of this gastronomic deliciously messy dish. I’ll leave fried Canadian Beaver Tails for another day.

4. THE TEMPERATURE TANGO. Temperature discussions between Canadians and Americans can be quite the comedy show. Canadians converse in Celsius, where a summer day might be a comfortable 25 degrees, while Americans operate in Fahrenheit, where the same day is a toasty 77 degrees. When Canadians say, “It’s 10 degrees today, eh” an American might wonder why they’re not bundled up in Nipigon Nylons (a Canadian fashion statement of long flannel underwear, bonus points if you wear plaid). It’s all relative, but the mental gymnastics required to convert between the two can be a hilarious exercise, especially when weather small talk gets lost in translation. If you really want to geek out Canadian style, to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, simply take (degrees Fahrenheit – 32) X 5 / 9). You’re welcome!

5. HOW’S IT GOIN’, EH? “Eh” is a multi-linguistic treasure, a sort of verbal Swiss Army knife, used by both English and French Canadians. It can used for agreement, confirmation, to ask a question, or just to keep the conversation friendly. Some examples of socially proper uses of “eh” include, “How’s it going, eh?”, “How ‘bout those Leaf’s, eh?”, “Sure is hot, eh?”, “Take off, eh” or simply just “Eh?” if you don’t understand what someone is saying. If you haven’t met Bob and Doug MacKenzie yet, Google or search for them and the Great White North on YouTube to see some hilarious uses of these two letters.

Here’s to wishing Canada a happy 157^th birthday today and to the United States 248^th birthday on Thursday. Be safe out there. And just giver, eh!

© 2024 D. Paul Graham, all rights reserved.

For over 12 years, D. Paul Graham has published “Monday 5 Things” ™, also known to readers as M5T™. He really misses butter-tarts and has been steadfast in trying not to use ‘eh” when he speaks.

You can reach Paul by email at dpg@imagegraham.com

“Monday 5 Things” ™ and M5T™ are trademarks of D. Paul Graham