"Monday 5 Things" with D. Paul Graham


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Photo: D. Paul Graham

Monday 5 Things…..On Black and Red…..

Hi. My name is Paul and I’m a binger. I cut the cable cord cold-turkey a few years and haven’t missed television at all. However, under the cool-light glow of either my iPad or my iPhone, I admit to binging on Netflix and Amazon. Oh sure, I could blame the countless lost hours on insomnia, but the guilty pleasure I have in binging is the core cause… the distinct distraction, if you would. I most recently fell off the binge wagon this past week when I realized season 5 of the Blacklist was out. Today’s M5T looks at some life lessons – as improbably as this may seem –  from Raymond Reddington on Blacklist.

1.  Stories are important.

Stories allow us to be engaged and be engaging at the same time.  Stories have lessons. They entertain or share a point in time. Telling stories gives you time to slow down, to think, to strategize. Telling a story allows you to size up the situation, and space to throw your opponent’s timing off. “I died once in Marrakech. Two and a half minutes. You wouldn't believe what I saw on the other side.” ~ Red

2.  You need others.

At times you may have to work with others that you don’t like. Choose wisely who you trust. Network. A lot. Know a guy who knows a guy. You never know who you might need in the future to help your plans succeed. “Just because you’ve been bumped to first chair in the orchestra doesn't mean you can compose a symphony.” ~ Red

3.  Negotiate. Always.

Negotiation can actually create respect between parties. Negotiation can diffuse conflict and create peace. It can save time and money. Negotiating can give you confidence. It requires understanding what you want as an outcome, what is really important to you, and to define what your best alternative might be. To effectively negotiate, you have to actively listen to the other side and be prepared to give some to get some. “You know the problem of drawing lines in the sand? With a breath of air, they disappear.” ~ Red

4.  Even tough guys have points of pain.

We all have a past. In that past are chapters of our lives that we may never share with anyone. Our past is always there. It’s what we do with the lessons learned from the past that will dictate our future path. Even those closest to us may never understand; be careful what you share. “Revenge isn't a passion. It’s a disease. It eats at your mind and poisons your soul.” ~ Red

5.  Not everything is as it appears.

Life is not easy, nor is it ever fair. The proverbial “stuff” happens. The trick is how you deal with it. There is always a solution. It may not be optimal, but there is a solution. Make the most of what you face and stay calm. Be positive, be flexible to the situation, and above all be true to yourself. “I could tell you how to win a marathon, but you’re assuming it’s a 26.2 mile race. It’s not. It’s a 6.2 mile race that begins at mile 20.” ~ Red

Here’s to a week of lessons learned from the least expected places.

© 2018 D. Paul Graham, all rights reserved.

D. Paul Graham is passionate about people, culture, photography and business. He has embraced his wanderlust with his travels around the globe and is at peace with his need for spirited drives in all things automotive.

You can find M5T each Monday here on www.southmag.com and by friending D. Paul Graham on Facebook. Paul is also a contributing photographer to South Magazine. His photographic work can be found on Instagram @dpgraham and at www.imageGRAHAM.com . Your feedback is always welcome. Email Paul at dpg@imagegraham.com